


it’s you

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, It’s kind of sad, M/M, Tsukiyama - Freeform, confessing, enby yamaguchi, idk there’s a bomb, lots of hugs, love letter, so many tears, they/them yamaguchi, they’re dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29644800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: basically a one shot where tsukiyama confess their love before they die <3
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	it’s you

**Author's Note:**

> aaa okay so this is a one shot based on the cover of as the world caves in x cancer by clem turner on youtube! i recommend listening to it when i say to during the actual fic, i put it in these brackets so you’ll recognise it [] just cause it makes it that little bit sadder, the songs been reuploaded to spotify and soundcloud so comment if you need the link if you can’t use youtube for any reason

Tadashi would’ve almost believed it was a normal night stargazing if it wasn’t for the emergency alerts pinging every five minutes on their phone as a reminder of what was to happen. It felt much easier than they’d anticipated to say goodbye to anything and everything in their life that they had loved. It felt like they were almost waiting for a moment like this to occur, to feel the unwavering anxiety of understanding your fate, and accepting it. 

Lying on the grass next to them was their best friend Tsukki. Tsukki with the dreamy eyes, the soft smile he reserved only for them, the pretty hands, the silky hair, the blunt comments that made them laugh so much, the gentle voice that seemed to only be used in reference to them. Tsukki that they loved. 

Of course, they had had no intention of admitting their feelings in the past; there wasn’t any need, just being close to him and hanging out was enough for Tadashi, why chance it? That was until right now, they felt idiotic for not using any opportunities in the past to tell him, because now they were probably going to die. They were going to die and there was nothing either of them could do about it. It was fate, they thought, there’s no avoiding it. Everyone they love is going to die, but it’s okay, it’s fine, as long as they can spend their final moments with the person they care most for in the universe. 

Again with that stupid notification, 

‘Emergency Alert  
BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO JAPAN. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL’ 

Looking down at it for what must’ve been the tenth time since they’d arrived in the field, they laughed slightly. This really did feel unreal. 

They had no idea what was going to happen, just the inevitable fate. They laid in a comfortable silence. Being alone with their thoughts, while coming to terms with what was left of their short future, Tadashi realised. They were so stupid, did it really take this much just to get them to realise how much they regret not confessing to their crush yet? Was it even still a crush at this point? They’re surely in love with him after so long. 

They reached out their hand, not registering the small tears slipping over their cheeks and onto the soft ground. They saw tsukki turn around, he was already crying too, truly a rare sight, if only Tadashi’s eyes weren’t clouded with their own tears; they would’ve loved to appreciate a moment like this. Tsukki’s hand rested softly upon the younger persons, providing an easing, reassuring touch, unknowingly. 

They both sat up, softly weeping, mourning the loss of nothing but their friendship; why should anything else matter if they had eachother? This was all ending too fast, it seemed so random, it was too unfair. 

Tadashi heard a soft crumpling noise, they looked over, in his other hand, Tsukki was opening up a piece of paper, it looked like a note, written on a page torn out of a notebook? With a slightly shaking hand he passed it over to them, silently pleading for them to read it. 

‘Dear Tadashi Yamaguchi, 

If you’re reading this then i’ve either worked up the courage to tell you or ive died for whatever reason and left this to you. If i’m going to be honest with you, it’s way more likely to be the second one, the chances of me telling you have always been low; I doubt you’re ever going to see this anyways, so what does it matter. 

I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I wish i could say it a thousand times more. I love the freckles all over your face, i love your soft hands, i love how you’re the perfect height, still tall, but still shorter than me, i love how you say sorry every time i tell you to shut up because i’m an idiot, i love how you’ve stuck by me after everything, i love you for putting up with my harsh personality and being friends with me anyways, i love you for being you. 

Even now, I wish I could tell you, ive only known you for a few years right now, but it feels like a lifetime. Everything would feel so much better if I could just hold your hand when i’m feeling down, if i could press a soft kiss to your pretty face and see your gorgeous smile when you weren’t feeling your best, if i could hug you all night long while we talked for hours on end about anything and everything. I know this is unreasonable, but I crave for the soft interactions we could have if I had the courage to ask you to be my partner. 

Nonetheless, if you’re even seeing this, it’s probably too late anyway, even if you would’ve considered changing anything between us, i’m pretty sure nothing can happen at this point. That’s fine. I’m okay with that. I just had to tell somebody how much i care. 

I love you, 

your best friend, i hope’

It was so uncharacteristically sweet. Tadashi almost didn’t believe Tsukki had actually written this. They traced their fingers over the curvy, neat handwriting and it felt so soothing; the gaping hole in their chest felt more bearable all of a sudden. A few tears fell onto the sheet, before they jumped slightly and folded it, placing it carefully in their phone case, not even sure why; it was going to get ruined in a short while no matter what. 

“I’m sorry if i just made our last minutes alive awkward,” tsukki murmured, before giggling slightly. He giggled. It was the happiest moment they’ve ever experienced. Maybe this whole dying thing wasn’t so bad, at least they could be here, right now, laughing about how stupid it was of them to not have confessed to him in all the years they’ve liked him. 

They let out a giggle too,”When did you write this?” Looking up at tsukki with soft eyes, they sighed,”I love you too.” They both broke out in laughter, the blonde mumbled that it was from in middle school, and Tsukki helped Tadashi stand up, hugging them tightly and sighing a little before letting go. 

“I never thought i’d have an actual excuse to use my ‘end of the world’ playlist with the literal meaning, but there’s a first for everything, huh?” He pressed play, a cover of two songs mashed together came up, it almost seemed fitting. 

[you can start playing the song now shkfnskx]

They swayed in silence, apart from the music softly playing from tsukkis phone somewhere on the floor, enjoying each other’s presence, content with this being their final memory. They were happy with this, truly, as happy as you could be knowing you were going to die in a few minutes. 

Tadashi leaned their head on Tsukkis chest and they choked on a sob, their tears were pouring out faster than ever, the anxiety in their chest bubbling up, they almost felt like they were going to vomit. But they knew that they weren’t alone, theres people out there who have no friends or family, suffering through this with nobody to care for them and comfort them through this, at the very least they had him. 

They thought about all the times he had made them happy, from the moment he saved them from those bullies in grade school, to the time they first realised they were in love with him in middle school, all the way up to teasing the silly first year duo on their team. They were borderline having a panic attack at this point, unable to hold back the emotion they’d been bottling up for the past hour, trying desperately to think of the joyful moments of their life, trying to prove to themselves it was all worth it, worth this pain. 

Tadashi reached down and interlocked their hands, the swaying stopped in favour of just standing there, clinging onto each other, it might’ve been calming if they weren’t both sobbing into each other’s arms. Tsukki started singing along to the song softly, through his tears, tadashi swore they felt their heart break right at that moment.

It was really setting in, everything they had done in their lives, it was for nothing. They wouldn’t get to become adults, have their first drink, go to college, get their first full time job, date each other seriously, grow older together; none of it was possible. 

But somehow, as they felt the cold palm squeeze against their own, everything felt fine again; it felt possible to pretend it was all going to be okay. Maybe this was just another late night outing, murmering to eachother laying on the grass, dancing under the starlight, crying salty tears for no reason at all. 

Tadashi felt his arms wrap around their figure, “I love you, I really do,” they could almost hear the sincere smile in his raspy voice. They said it back with the brightest smile they could muster up. They would probably look crazed to an outsider, bawling into each others arms whilst still trying to stay positive, but it’s not like a single person in Japan cared. 

There was no loud bang like either of them expected, but there was a blinding flash of light. Tadashi didn’t dare look up from their spot sobbing into their closest friends chest, trying their hardest to hold onto him closer. They felt hot, so very hot, almost like they were on fire but who cares about trying to get cooler when all he wanted was to stay with Tsukki until the very end. 

Maybe they had been set aflame, and as strange as it was, they didn’t mind. How romantic, dying with your partner in an apocalyptic scenario; hopefully someone will find their skeletons in hundreds of years, and they’ll still be holding onto eachother.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a tiktok now too!! it’s @/ballboyshoyo if you wanna check it out :) anyways yea thanks for reading!!


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